bowdlerized epistemological epiphanies

yeah, it's been over a year since I last posted here…

it's easier for me to maintain 1 site and I prefer my moblog

however, when I feel like I've got something to post that doesn't belong in my moblog, then it'll go here.

what I've noticed that it's been a little more inconvenient to post here… thanks to the sploggers and the fact that it's almost impossible to contact support from blogger, I'd rather not post here.

-----Original Message-----
From: ;-)
Date: Wednesday, March 01, 2006 09:28 AM
To: CS
Subject: How can you view .pdf online w/IE while 'File download' is disabled?
---
CUSTOMER PROVIDED SYSTEM PROPERTIES
Country/Region: United States
---
PRODUCT
Internet Explorer 6
---
SYSTEM PROPERTIES
Ref URL: http://supportmicrosoft.com/contactus
O/S: windows nt 5.1
O/S Lang: en-us
Br: msie 6.0
Br lang: en-us
---
QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS
Message: How can I view .pdf online w/ IE, while having the 'File download' set at "Disable"?
(Internet Options > Security Settings > Downloads > File download > Disable)

----- Original Message -----
From: Microsoft Contact US
To: ;-)
Sent: Wednesday, March 01, 2006 1:55 PM
Subject: RE:'RTCProd=011-226-257'

Hello,

Thank you for contacting Microsoft Online Customer Service.

I understand from your e-mail that you wish to view pdf files online without downloading it. I realize the importance of the issue and look forward to assisting you.

As a Customer Service Representative, I can assist you with the support options available for your copy of Microsoft product. However, I have taken the time to research the Internet and have found that to view pdf files online, you have to download Adobe Acrobat Reader 5.0 or higher.

To download Adobe Acrobat Reader, please visit the following third-party web site:

http://www.adobe.com/products/acrobat/readstep2.html

The above site is not from Microsoft and information at these sites may change without notice. Microsoft is not responsible for the content at any third-party Web sites and does not guarantee the accuracy of third-party information.

I hope the above information is helpful. If you have further concerns, please do not hesitate to contact us.

Thank you for using Microsoft products and services.

Biswanath
Microsoft Online Customer Service Representative

If you have any feedback about your Online Customer Service experience, please send an e-mail message to my manager, Biji Balan, at @microsoft.com

-----Original Message-----
From: ;-)
Date: Wednesday, March 01, 2006 11:22 AM
To: Microsoft Contact US
Subject: RE:'RTCProd=011-226-257'

Biswanath,

You've misunderstood me.

After downloading the latest version of Acrobat Reader, "Disable" 'File Download' with your IE; then try to view any PDF online. Tell me, if you can view ANY pdf with IE, after you "Disable" 'File Download' with your IE.

To change your IE settings:
(Internet Options > Security Settings > Downloads > File download > Disable)

----- Original Message -----
From: Microsoft Contact US
To: ;-)
Sent: Wednesday, March 01, 2006 9:58 PM
Subject: RE:'RTCProd=011-226-257'

Hello,

Thank you for contacting Microsoft Online Customer Service.

I appreciate that you have taken time to write back to us.
As a Customer Service Representative, I can assist you with the support options available with your Microsoft product. I have taken the time to look through our self-help website and found steps that may assist you in resolving this issue.

Adobe Acrobat or Adobe Reader may be unable to display a PDF file inside a compatible web browser window if Acrobat or Adobe Reader can't read the PDF file, if the web browser isn't configured correctly with the Adobe PDF Browser plug-in, or if the web server on which the PDF file is stored can't serve the PDF file. To resolve this issue, please perform the steps given below:

1. Enable Acrobat ActiveX Control. (Windows only)

If you use Internet Explorer on Windows, enable the Acrobat ActiveX Control in the security options.

Note: This procedure changes the security options for all ActiveX Controls in Internet Explorer. If you prefer to use stricter security, contact either your network administrator or Microsoft for information about using the Administrator Approved setting in the Internet Properties.

To enable the ActiveX Control:

1. Quit Internet Explorer and Acrobat or Adobe Reader.
2. Choose Start > Settings > Control Panel and then double-click Internet (or Internet Options).
3. Click the Security tab in the Internet Properties dialog box.
4. Choose the appropriate zone for the location hosting the PDF file (for example, Internet or Local Intranet).
5. Click Custom Level.
6. In the Security Settings dialog box, select Enable under Run ActiveX Controls And Plug-ins, and then click OK.
7. Click OK in the Internet Properties dialog box.

2. Delete temporary Internet files. (Windows only):

If you use Internet Explorer on Windows, delete the temporary files that Internet Explorer creates.

1. In Internet Explorer, select Tools > Internet Options.
2. Click Delete Files in the General tab and then click OK when prompted.

3. Repair Acrobat or Adobe Reader:

To repair Acrobat or Adobe Reader, you must have access to the installation media or to the network path from which you originally installed the product.

In Windows:

1. Choose Start > Control Panel > Add Or Remove Programs.
2. Select Acrobat or Adobe Reader, and then click Change/Repair (Windows XP) or Change/Remove (Windows 2000).
3. In the Setup dialog box, click Next.
4. Select Repair, and then Click Next.
5. Click Update.
6. When the process is complete, click Finish.

4. Deselect and then reselect the Display PDF In Browser preference:

1. In Acrobat or Adobe Reader, choose Edit > Preferences (Windows) or [application] > Preferences (Mac OS).
2. Select Internet.
3. Deselect Display PDF In Browser, and then click OK.
4. Quit and then start Acrobat or Adobe Reader.
5. Choose Edit > Preferences > Internet, select Display PDF In Browser, and then click OK.

I hope the above information is helpful. Please let me know has above steps resolved the issue.

Thank you for using Microsoft products and services.

Shakeel
Microsoft Online Customer Service Representative

If you have any feedback about your Online Customer Service experience, please e-mail my manager, Unni Krishnan Anupama Kumar, at @microsoft.com

-----Original Message-----
From: ;-)
Date: Thursday, March 02, 2006 01:39 PM
To: Microsoft Contact US
Subject: RE:'RTCProd=011-226-257'

Hi Shakeel,

Before we start, I'd like to know, is there anything hard to understand with my written English? Both you and Biswanath have COMPLETELY misunderstood what I originally wrote.

Let's keep it simple.

First, follow ALL of your suggestions below.
Then, change the settings of your Internet Explorer's "File Download" to "Disable"
To change your IE settings:
(Internet Options > Security Settings > Downloads > File download > Disable)

What I'd like to know is if it is currently not possible to view online .pdf files with IE while having the "File Download" setting at "Disable". If it isn't "currently" possible, then I hope it would be considered as a feature request for Internet Explorer 7.

If my written English is difficult to understand, please let me know. At the moment, I can't think of how much more simple can I explain my concern.

----- Original Message -----
From: Microsoft Contact US
To: ;-)
Sent: Friday, March 03, 2006 1:04 AM
Subject: RE:'RTCProd=011-226-257'

Hello,

Thank you for contacting Microsoft Online Customer Service.

I understand from your message that you need to read the files created in pdf. I realize the importance of your issue.

As a Customer Service Representative, I can assist you with the support options available with your Microsoft product.
For viewing the files created in pdf you need to download Adobe Reader. Please visit the following website to download the latest version of Adobe Reader.
http://www.adobe.com/products/acrobat/readstep2.html

Please note that Microsoft provides third-party resources to help you find customer service or technical support resources. Information at these sites may change without notice. Microsoft is not responsible for the content at any third-party Web sites and does not guarantee the accuracy of third-party information.

I hope the information provided is helpful. If you have any further questions or concerns regarding Microsoft Products, please do not hesitate to contact us. We will be glad to assist you.

Thank you for using Microsoft products and services.

Dipti
Microsoft Online Customer Service Representative

If you have any feedback about your Online Customer Service experience, please e-mail my manager, Ranjith Chakkambadh, at @microsoft.com

-----Original Message-----
From: ;-)
Date: Friday, March 03, 2006 09:53 AM
To: Microsoft Contact US; @microsoft.com
Subject: RE:'RTCProd=011-226-257'

So far, NOBODY has understood the simple grade school level English I've been using with this correspondence.

It seems that EVERYONE just uses an auto keyword search tool to read the e-mail and replies using an answer bank based on the results. So far, I don't think ANYONE who replied actually READ any of my e-mail.

Here's a simple "Yes" or "No" answer question: Can I view .pdf online w/ Internet Explorer 6, while having the "File download" set at "Disable"?

----- Original Message -----
From: Microsoft Contact US
To: ;-)
Sent: Saturday, March 04, 2006 7:38 AM
Subject: RE:'RTCProd=011-226-257'

Hello,

Thank you for contacting Microsoft Online Customer Service.

I apologize for the inconvenience caused.

I understand you would like to know whether you can view a PDF document online while the file download option is disabled. I realize your concern.

Please note that if you have disabled the file download option in your security settings in Internet explorer (for any zone) then you will not be able to download any file to your computer. However if you would like to view the file online then depending upon the web site you will be able to view the document. For example if you would like to view a pdf document you receive in gmail (google mail) then you will be able to view this pdf document in html version. Hence in general it is not possible to view a PDF document online when the file download option is disabled.

I would like to inform you that I have forwarded your feedback to Internet Explorer (IE) development team so that they will look into the feasibility of including this feature in the new version of Internet Explorer (IE).

I hope the above information is helpful. If you have further questions, please do not hesitate to contact us. We will be glad to assist you.

Thank you for using Microsoft products and services.

Ajay
Microsoft Online Customer Service Representative

If you have any feedback about your Online Customer Service experience, please send an e-mail to my manager, Sujith Sadasivan, at @microsoft.com

testing my background to be stored in a new location

this is my customized toolbar settings for Firefox (Fx).

I finally decided to try Fx for the 1st time, yesterday…

I've been resistant to anything I've considered as redundant software 'coz of harddrive space… but now, security issues have superseded my resistance… and, so far, so good… and 2 (or more) browsers are definitely better than 1!

I believe that Fx, Internet Explorer (IE), & Opera use their own browser engine… but, I think, Netscape's usin' Fx's engine (so don't bother installin' Fx, if you've got Netscape's latest version)…

I never bothered to use Opera's free (ad-sponsored) version 'coz it was known to have some sort of tracking (similar to adware) built into it… so, I've never trusted Opera's free version… and, I still don't… and, I don't think that it's worth (currently $39) purchasin' the regular version…

bein' a wannabe tech geek, I've heard about Fx prior to it's official release… however, I've decided to do a "wait-and-see" approach before tryin' it… sure enough, a month (or so) after its official release, there was a security issue… but, I haven't heard about ANY, since then… I'm sure, just like ALL other software products, there'll be more bugs that will eventually be discovered as more users, hackers & crackers discover them… but hey, after tryin' Fx, I definitely can say that it feels safer than IE…

my IE will be for trusted sites that need to use plug-ins & scripts…

I've set my Fx to the highest security settings (Safe Mode) and I'll be using it to test sites for compatibility and security…

Fx may be buggy which is okay 'coz they're still in version 1 (compared to IE, which is currently version 6.x.x.x; and, Opera's version is 7.x.x)… BUT, I still recommend that EVERYONE should use Firefox! AND, I think that it's best to keep your other web browser(s)… Fx & other non-IE browsers either won't or can't view/use certain features from other sites… someday, either those sites will be modified to view properly with other browsers or the other browsers will have more features to make it possible to view/use other sites…

well… I stumbled into the Blogger Hacks and decided to give it a go… there are actually some that I think are very useful…

this is the new "Archives" layout…

this is the old "Archives" layout…

kinda waste of space…

a major peeve of mine are programs that change your browser's toolbars without your consent…

this is how I like my browser's toolbars to look like


I just recently installed "hello - BloggerBot" 'coz it's the program that I 'need' to use in order to post pictures directly into my blog… if I'd known that it would hijack my browser's toolbars, I would've never installed it!

here's what it did:

it brought it back to the default "Standard Buttons" plus added 2 of it's own buttons

it also hijacked the dropdown menu of the "Tools"


oh, and this stupid "hello" program apparently can't allow you to make paragraphs. I have to manually enter paragraphs by loggin' into my blog! plus, everytime you post a photo, it automatically pops-up a new window of your blog; which gets very irritatin' after postin' more than 3 photos in a row!

don't install this program, if you really don't need it! it sucks!!!

another thing I can't stand are 3rd party toolbars…

I've made some minor modifications (to add more viewin' space) but I don't add anything more than the 3 original toolbars:
1) the main drop down menus
2) my customized "Standard Buttons" are at "No text labels" (why have the labels, when they become visible, if you hoover over the icons) & "Small icons" (for more space)
3) the "Address Bar" without the "Links"
my reason for keeping it down to 3 is 'coz I'd like to see more of the viewin' space on my limited size monitor…

check these toolbars from hell

thanks to JayJDC's phlog post for introducin' it to me…

thanks to motley's phlog post for sharin' the blog post "Thoughts Arguments and Rants Philosophy in Questionable Taste" where you'll find the source of the breakup lines of philosophers.

I decided to organize them by philosopher/school… just to make it easier to view…

please DON'T submit anything new here… I respect the original source and that's where ALL submissions should go…

however, feel free to inform me of ANY corrections…

AND, I'm interested in knowing what your favorites are…

philosopher/school	breakup line	from
?	There's still sunshine when you're gone.	preacher
?	I like tomatoes you like tamatoes.	preacher
Actualist	If only things could have gone differently…	Jeff Medina
Adverbialist	I feel terrible-about-this-ly, but…	djc
Anaximander	The fire is gone from this relationship.	Shieva
Animal Rights-ist	Let’s stop eating each other.	rac
Anslem	p1 We can conceive of a most perfect breakup. p2 Whatever is conceived exists in the mind of the conceivers. p3 Whatever exists in the mind of the conceiver and also in reality is better than the same thing that exists only in the mind of the conceiver. c1 Therefore, a breakup conceived, than which no greater breakup can be conceived, exists in reality as well as in the understanding. p4 Ours is a breakup greater than which none greater can be conceived. c2 Our breakup exists in reality.	karl
Anti-Bayesian	But I want unconditional love!	Rachael
Anti-Commnitarian	I’ve forgotten what it’s like to be myself.	Paul Audi
Anti-Emergentist	Our parts are greater than their sum.	rac
Anti-Epistemicist	I know you crossed the line!	pekka
Anti-Fictionalist	I’m sick of faking it.	Paul Kelleher
Anti-Hedonist	I’m getting to a point in my life where I’m looking for more than just good time.	uk
Anti-Infinitist	You always go on and on and on…	pekka
Anti-Russellian	I love you, but I’m not in love with you.	djc
Anti-Solipsist	There’s someone else.	djc
Anti-Supervaluationist	I can’t be more clear: I don’t love you and I never did.	Angel
Anti-Universalist (in the theological sense)	Our relationship can’t be saved.	Kris McDaniel
Anti-Utilitarian	I’m sick of trying to make other people happy!	Paul Audi
Aristotle v1	You’ve never asked “What’s the matter?”	Shieva
Aristotle v2	You make me less perfect.	Jonathan Ichikawa
Armstrong	I want to freely recombine with others now.	Kris McDaniel
ASL’er	Why don’t you talk to me?	Mellow
Atheist	These things just happen.	Paul Kelleher
A-Theorist	This isn’t going anywhere.	uk
Behaviorist v1	I just can’t keep going through the motions anymore.	Brendan Jackson
Behaviorist v2	This just isn’t working for you anymore, is it for me?	pekka
Berkelyian	Our relationship existed only in your mind.	Kris McDaniel
Berlin, Isaiah	It’s just not working.	M. Turyn
Block	My feelings for you have changed.	djc
Bohmian	You make me feel hollow inside.	myles byrne
Bose-Einsteinian	The way things have been lately, I just can’t tell where you end and I start.	Jason Mansfield
Bradley	I feel disconnected from this relationship, because whatever relation there might be between me and it would itself have to be related to me, and…	paul
Brandom	I can’t make a commitment.	djc
BS’er	Sorry but my dog ate my commitment to you.	Mellow
Buddha	You just don’t understand how much my desire for you is making me suffer.	raul arturo mendoza rodriguez de santiago
Campbell, John	Your face is what causes and justifies my leaving.	tb
Camusan	Your demands in this relationship are absurd.	Eitan Kozak
Cantorian Shakespeare	How do I love thee? Let me count the ways… Cardinality 0.	Jeff Medina
Carnap v1	The claim that we would break has been confirmed.	Alejandro
Carnap v2	You’re too negative.	Rich Doan
Cartesian v1	I don’t clearly and distinctly perceive a future together.	Kathryn Schubert
Cartesian v2	I’m having doubts about us.	Jonathan Ichikawa
Cartesian v3	Sorry you are not real enough.	Josh Berkstresser
Cartwrightian, R.	Face it, babe. We’re scattered objects.	David
Chalmers v1	It’s conceivable that we might get back together someday, so it might be possible. It all depends on if you’re positive or negative about it.	Jeff Medina
Chalmers v2	You’re like a zombie on the inside.	nk
Chalmers v3	Why am I leaving you? That's a hard question.	Brian
Channelier	*says nothing*	Mellow
Chinese Room	I know I’ve been acting like I loved you all this time, but, to be honest, I don’t even know what love is.	Jeff Medina
Chisholmian v1	You just make me feel so small.	Shieva
Chisholmian v2	The ideal definition, which I’ve taken seventy-five little steps toward, doesn’t contain your name. So, hit the trail!	David
Chisholmian v3	You make me feel very tiny.	Kris McDaniel
Christian	I’ve run out of cheeks for you.	Don Brady
Churchland	Neuronal synapse 36789 with excessive activation of Potassium channels. Action potential delayed. Or, was it the other way around? Damn it!! I'm sorry, I am really confused right now.	Angel
Coherentist	This just isn’t hanging together anymore.	pekka
Co-Location Theorist	We’re just in different places, you and I.	Shieva
Communitarian	You’re not my type.	Simon Keller
Compatibilist v1 (Frankfurt-type version)	Honey, you have to understand: I freely decided to break up with you, but I couldn’t have done otherwise.	Gustavo Llarull
Compatibilist v2 (Fischer version)	I am moderately receptive but weakly reactive to your love.	Gustavo Llarull
Concept Atomist	We don’t compose well.	JW
Confucius	You just don’t understand your place in our relationship.	raul arturo mendoza rodriguez de santiago
Consequentialist v1	We aren’t optimal for each other.	Paul Kelleher
Consequentialist v2	You should have lied to my mother about her pot roast!	Paul Kelleher
Constitution Theorist	I never loved you. I just loved your body.	Kris McDaniel
Content Externalist v1	Ever since we moved, you’ve changed.	Paul Audi
Content Externalist v2	You’re not in my thoughts anymore.	Will Davies
Contextualist v1	You are wrong. I never said I knew you were the one.	Angel
Contextualist v2	My feelings haven’t changed, but everything else has.	uk
Continentalist	You’ve lost that love and feeling.	Paul Kelleher
Cornell Realist	You no longer move me.	Paul Kelleher
Counter-Inductionist	You’ve been wonderful to me, and the sex has been great…	Rachael
Cybertarian	BRB (wink)	Mellow
De Beauviorian	It’s as if I’m not good enough in bed. You always insist on having second sex.	Eitan Kozak
Deconstructivist v1	I don’t even know if it’s about me or about you, I can’t tell what’s right or wrong. All I know is that something has come between us and from where I’m standing it looks like we’re in the middle of breaking up.	Rob Annable
Deconstructivist v2	Ohh, I don’t know whether I want to live or die!	Rob Annable
Democritus	I bumped into Adam at the Void…	Rich Doan
Dennett v1	I don’t have enough elbow room in this relationship.	Jeff Medina
Dennett v2	All you ever wanted from me was physical, and I don’t intend to stand for it anymore.	Jeff Medina
Deontologist	We aren’t right for each other.	Paul Kelleher
Derrida (breaking up with Saussure)	The signs were all there.	Brad Weslake
Determinist	I’d stay with you, but it’s not up to me.	t0x
Direct Referentialist	Dthat’s it!	Stephan Blatti
Disjunctivist	We’ve grown apart.	uk
Dodgson	Aren’t you a little old for this?	M. Turyn
Dretske v1	I hadn’t accounted for the possibility that you were mutton disguised as lamb.	Will Davies
Dretske v2	There are other, more relevant, alternatives.	AW
Dualist v1	You’re too cerebral!	Paul Audi
Dualist v2	You love my body not my mind.	Schrodingers gerbil
Dutch Bookable Agent	It seems like no matter what happens, I just can’t win.	Rachael
Egalitarian	This is the best thing for both of us.	Paul Audi
Einstein v1	From your point of view everything may seem to be OK between us, but from mine…	Alejandro
Einstein v2	I think we are too closely related.	calmone
Eliminativist v1	You might have thought there was something between us and you might think there still is, but some day you will realize there was never anything there.	Sparky
Eliminativist v2	You will thank me later.	Sparky
Eliminativist v3	There never was a You-and-Me, only particles arranged You-and-Me-wise.	rac
Emotivist	boo-hoo, boo-hoo	dsosa
Empiricist	I think we should see other people.	Paul Kelleher
Epicurean v1	This relationship is really great right now, but I anticipate many troubles in its wake.	matt strohl
Epicurean v2	You’re a lousy fuck.	Eitan Kozak
Epiphenomenalist	I still love you, but it doesn’t make any difference.	djc
Epistemicist v1	At some point I stopped loving you but believe me, there is absolutely no use in trying to figure out when that was.	Angel
Epistemicist v2	There was a line and you crossed it.	Will Davies
Error-Theorist	Even though we’re through, it may be useful to retain the illusion that we’re still together.	Steve
ESP’er	Read my mind.	Mellow
Eternalist	At least we’ll always have that weekend in Paris.	Brendan Jackson
Eulerian	Our relationship has been constant, but irrational.	Jason Mansfield
Existentialist	I just feel so alone.	Steven Shapiro
Expressivist	We need to talk.	uk
Fatalist v1	It was destined to end this way.	Jeff Medina
Fatalist v2	There was nothing either of us could have done about it.	Jeff Medina
Feminist v1	You need to gain more respect for women. Lets begin by shoving that thing down your throat!	Lucy
Feminist v2	I don’t need you.	Cynthia Nowicki
Fodor v1	Aunty says you’re not my type.	Will Davies
Fodor v2	I’m afraid we’re asymmetrically dependent.	UL
Fodor v3	Aunty says that I owe you an explanation, and I suppose she is right. For what it’s worth, here it is; I believe that I’ve been seeing someone else (in fact I know it, but no matter) and I believe that if you believed that I had been seeing someone else, you would not want to date me any longer. Further, my telling you that I believe that I have been seeing someone else will lead, ceterus paribus, to your coming to believe the same fact (if your hearing is reliable, and you’re paying attention). Which means that right about now you will believe that I am seeing someone else, and you will want to ditch me. But I don’t want to be ditched, and I believe the only way not to be ditched is to ditch you first. Hence you are ditched. (It’s an explanation, though perhaps not the one that Aunty had in mind. Then again explanations were all deductive nomological in Aunty’s day. If you were that traditional, I doubt we’d have dated in the first place.)	BM
Foucault	I think I’m gay.	calmone
Foundationalist v1	We have nothing left to build upon.	Paul Kelleher
Foundationalist v2	I need to be able to branch out more.	Paul Kelleher
Fractalian	I’ve seen this same pattern in you before.	Chasmo
Frankfurtian	Yes, I still love you, but I don’t think that I want to.	Simon Keller
Fregean v1	I love you under an old mode of presentation.	djc
Fregean v2	I can’t grasp your idea of happy relationship.	Angel
Fregean v3	If only I’d known who you really were, Jocasta…	Will Davies
Freudian v1	Mom, I think this relationship has gone a bit too far.	Steven Shapiro
Freudian v2	Sometimes sex is just sex…	Daniel
Functionalist v1	I don’t care about accommodating your feelings.	Paul Kelleher
Functionalist v2	You’re trying hard not to show it…	Simon Keller
Functionalist v3	This isn’t working for me.	uk
Gendler, Tamar	To stay with you - a scenario that faces a strong imaginative resistance from my part.	Istvan Aranyosi
Gettier	I knew I loved somebody in the office, and I am as surprised as you are that it isn’t you.	AW
Gilligan	Of course I still care!	Paul Audi
Goedel	Try as you might, you just don’t complete me, and you never will.	Jeff Medina
Goodmanian	You don’t bring me emeroses, you don’t sing me love prongs…	JW
Gricean v1	There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you.	NW
Gricean v2	You’re just not the cream in my coffee anymore.	Steve
Gricean v3	You have to try and understand what I’m about to tell you…	John Lee
Hard Determinist v1	Let’s not play the blame game.	Simon Keller
Hard Determinist v2	It’s not my fault.	Sparky
Hegelian v1	Do we have to go through this again?	Kathryn Schubert
Hegelian v2	You go back and forth impulsively like the dialectical bitch.	Eitan Kozak
Hegelian v3	It is! It is not! It is! It is not! IT IS! IT IS NOT! YES, IT IS! NO, IT IS NOT! Look, being this way is just becoming synthetic.	Don Brady
Hegelian v4	You just don’t understand me.	Rich Doan
Heidegger v3	I’ve always felt thrown into this relationship.	Melissa Haferkamp
Heideggerian v1	I’m just not comfortable with being-in-this-relationship.	Steve
Heideggerian v2	Let’s face it: Daseins are on the wall.	rac
Heideggerian v3	What do you mean, ‘this doesn’t make any sense’?	Mariana
Heideggerian v4	I know it’s really hard, but you have to at least make an effort to understand me.	Mariana
Heisenberg	Our relationship is moving so fast, I don’t know at what point it is anymore.	Alejandro
Hempel	Explanans- People are only together when both parties want to be seeing each other. (General Law) I no longer want to see you (particular fact) Explanandum- Therefore we are no longer together. (explanation of why we are not dating)	karl
Heracleitus v1	I’ve had a change of heart.	Simon Keller
Heracleitus v2	Flux you! (Or: Things change.)	Shieva
Heracleitus v3	We’ve been down this road before.	Rich Doan
Hilbert	Even if my heart had another chamber, there still wouldn’t be room in it for you.	Rachael
Hindu	Even though we cannot be together, when you are in that place within you where the universe resides, and I am in that place within me, I will always be with you.	naz
Hobbesian v1	Go away, you’re nasty, brutish, and short.	Shieva
Hobbesian v2	How can we start over when the fighting never ends?	Paul Audi
Hofstadter	Go t’Hell, an’sure don’t come back! (oooo, the pain of the corn)	Jeff Medina
Hopkinian	You're not my frog.	myles byrne
Humean v1	Just because we’re always together doesn’t mean we BELONG together.	Paul Audi
Humean v2	Relationships need to be about more than just constant conjoining.	Paul Kelleher
Humean v3	I no longer have reason to be the slave of your passions.	pekka
Humean v4	I need to find myself.	djc
Idealist	Our love is immaterial.	Rich Doan
Indeterminacy Theorist	I was never able to quite pinpoint our relationship anyway.	karl
Indeterminist	I just don’t love you anymore - there’s no good reason for it.	Jeff Medina
Indirect Realist	I have to think of myself first.	Paul Audi
Indirect Recursionist	To explain why we’re breaking up, I must first discuss problems in our relationship. Before I do that, I need to explain why we’re breaking up.	Jason Mansfield
Internalist	Why? I have my reasons.	AW
Intuitionist	Well, it’s not that I don’t love you…	JW
Iris-Murdoch-ist	I think we should really see other people.	Simon Keller
Jackson	My intuition is that we are not good together and I think that this intuition is shared by the folks.	Will Davies
Jackson, Frank	I have a liaison with Mary.	Istvan Aranyosi
Jackson, Michael	You’re too old for me.	raul arturo mendoza rodriguez de santiago
James,William	Our breaking up is live, forced, and momentous. So take it on faith that we are no longer together.	karl
Jungian	I dreamt that I was looking for a frog…	myles byrne
Kantian v1	You lied to me!	Paul Kelleher
Kantian v2	I just don’t think you’re universalizable.	Jonathan Ichikawa
Kantian v3	I like you, but I just can’t see universalizing you.	Jonathan Ichikawa
Kantian v4	Our love is too synthetic.	Shieva
Kantian v5	I thought I needed your love to make sense of anything. Now I realize it was just physiology.	Kris McDaniel
Kantian v6	I gotta have my space. It’s a necessity.	Rich Doan
Kantian v7	You’re too critical.	Rich Doan
Kaplan v1	She and I… this and that… now and then…	Rich Doan
Kaplan v2	You’ve really been out of character.	Rich Doan
Kellian	I don’t feel benevolent toward you any more.	M. Turyn
Kierkegaardian v1	This relationship is absurd.	sturgeonslawyer
Kierkegaardian v2	You’re too gullible.	Rich Doan
Korsgaardian	I’m looking for a new practical identity.	Jonathan Ichikawa
Korzybskian	Your crap is not my territory.	myles byrne
Kripke v1	Our relationship does not exist in the actual world, but perhaps in some other possible world.	karl
Kripke v2	I thought I was going out with someone named “Schmidt”.	karl
Kripke v3	You and I are essentially different.	Will Davies
Kuhnian	We used to work well together, when everything was normal, but now we’re just incommensurable.	JW
Langton, Rae	Did you even notice when I stopped loving you?	Paul Audi
Lehrer	I don’t know why you didn’t see this coming, Miss Dumpedalot.	AW
Leibnizian v1	This is all for the best.	Matt Weiner
Leibnizian v2	Our relationship clearly did not make for the best of all possible worlds, and that is why we are no longer in it.	karl
Leibnizian v3	Our relationship was not well-founded.	Kris McDaniel
Leibnizian v4	I no longer desire any mo' nads of yours.	t0x
Leiter v1	You just don’t rank very highly with me anymore. (I need a top-tier kind of love.)	Jeff Medina
Leiter v2	It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s that my 60 closest friends don’t love you.	eric wiland
Lewis v1	Focus too hard on it and it’s gone… Love sure is elusive.	Will Davies
Lewis v2	Our being together always seemed somewhat absurd, and now I’m not sure it has the theoretical advantages I thought it did. Stop staring at me.	AW
Lewisian Contextualist	You should never have asked “But do you REALLY love me?”	pekka
Liberal	I’ve become neutral on the question of your good life.	Simon Keller
Libertarian v1	Piss off.	Simon Keller
Libertarian v2	I need my freedom.	AW
Lockean v1	Our primary qualities simply aren’t compatible.	Kathryn Schubert
Lockean v2	Compared to my last partner, I’m not getting nearly enough, nor as good.	Paul Kelleher
Lockean v3	You’re ugly.	t0x
Logical Positivist	Any goodness of our relationship is unverifiable. It’s meaningless.	Jonathan Ichikawa
Mackie, J. L.	Let’s talk about “queerness”…	Jay Martin
Maimonades	It’s not literally your body that I think is ugly.	Steven Shapiro
Many Selves Quantum Theorist	A part of me will always be with you.	Don Brady
Many Worlds Quantum Theorist	You’ll still be with me in so many ways.	Jeff Medina
Marxist	You preach to me to distract me from the fact that you’re stealing from me.	Eitan Kozak
Materialist v1	The only part of me you stimulate anymore is my C-fibers.	Steve
Materialist v2	Our relationship is not ideal.	Rich Doan
McDaniel	You will realize there was never anything there.	Sparky
McGinn, Colin	You lack that mysterious flame.	Istvan Aranyosi
McGinn-ian	I’m cognitively closed to your affections. (Or maybe it’s just “You’re not smart enough for me”?)	JW
McTaggartian	No, nothing’s changed.	Simon Keller
Meinongian	I think we should break up, but we can still be together.	Steve
Millian	Look, I have to tell you that you are too demanding, I am no Clark Kent.	Angel
Ming, Wang Yang	You keep saying that… but, I need to see some action.	John Lee
Minimalist	Bye.	Daniel
Minkowski	We need some space-time between us.	Brian
Modal Realist v1	This will never work—we’re from different worlds.	Brendan Jackson
Modal Realist v2	It doesn’t mean we can’t be friends.	uk
Moore v1	The value of our relationship is less than the sum of its parts.	pekka
Moore v2	There, there… this doesn’t mean that you are not desirable.	AW
Moore v3	Here’s one hand. Here’s another. What do I need you for?	AW
Moore v4	Our relationship is through, but I don’t believe it.	Patrick O'Neill
Moore’s-Law Superficialist	Your waistline has doubled every 18 months	Jason Mansfield
Motivational Externalist	Even though I believed it at the time, I know now that I never really loved you.	Paul Kelleher
Mr. T-ist	Ah pittay tha fool who date you!	Jason Mansfield
Mystic	Lets continue our relationship exclusively in a non spacio-temporal realm.	t0x
Nagel, Thomas	You’re sexually perverse.	Istvan Aranyosi
Nagelian	You just don’t know what it’s like to be me.	Paul Kelleher
Necessitarian	I’m sorry, but this is how it has to be.	Paul Audi
New Riddle of Inductionist	When I said I loved you…	Brad Weslake
Nietzsche v01	Sorry, it’s all uber.	Shieva
Nietzsche v02	Sorry, I’m over you.	Caro
Nietzsche v03	You’re too good for me.	Caro
Nietzsche v04	You’re just too GOOD for me!	Paul Audi
Nietzsche v05	Thus Spoke Zarathrusta.	John Lee
Nietzsche v06	This relationship is dead.	Steven Shapiro
Nietzsche v07	Your sex drive is abnormally low. Maybe you’re an ecce homo and operate in a gay science.	Eitan Kozak
Nietzsche v08	We, as all in our circumstances, now have nothing; if there were some distance between us, at least we’d have its Pathos.	M. Turyn
Nietzsche v09	Even though we part I will return eternally.	Marco Grubert
Nietzsche v10	You’re too positive.	Rich Doan
Nihilist v1	I told you all along that nothing would come between us.	Kent Bach
Nihilist v2	Why? Well, there’s no one thing, really…	Shieva
Nihilist v3	This relationship doesn’t mean anything.	Steven Shapiro
Nominalist v1	I have a fear of commitment.	uk
Nominalist v2	There’s you and there’s me. There is no us.	Paul Audi
Non-Cognitivist	You can’t rationalize these things.	uk
Nozick	You’re too insensitive.	AW
Objectivist v1	I need some “me” time.	EthDem
Objectivist v2	I want to check these premises and find you gone.	M. Turyn
Ockham	You don’t shave.	calmone
Olson, Eric T.	I’m leaving because you are an animal!	Brian
Pacifist	Why don’t we just be friends?	Simon Keller
Paraconsistent Logician v1	I love you, but then again I don’t love you. Is that so wrong?	JW
Paraconsistent Logician v2	We can break up, but we’ll still be together… and that does not imply anything (everything).	karl
Parfit v1	You’re not the same person that you were.	djc
Parfit v2	We need to split up.	Kris McDaniel
Parmenades	You’re not the One for me.	Rich Doan
Parmenedian	Sorry, it’s the beans.	Shieva
Particularist	You’re still adorable, but somehow that makes it all wrong now.	pekka
Paternalist	In time you’ll come to see that this is the best thing.	Paul Audi
Perdurantist v1	I don’t think we should take this relationship to the next stage.	Wass
Perdurantist v2	There’s a part of me that isn’t comfortable with this relationship.	Simon Keller
Perdurantist v3	Things are not what they used to be.	uk
Plantingian	A possible world with you and I together for the foreseeable future hasn’t been actualized.	David
Plato v1	We no longer participate in the Form of dating.	karl
Plato v2	I’m just getting sick of trading gold for bronze.	matt strohl
Plato v3	Not enough dialogue.	AW
Plato v4	Well, now that I’ve seen you in the sun…	John Lee
Plato v5	I’m afraid last night we went un-Platonic.	Istvan Aranyosi
Plato v6	Can’t we just be platonic?	calmone
Plotinus	I’m sorry, you’re just not the one	David
PMS’er	You just don’t ‘Get Me’	Mellow
Polish Logician	BreakupYouMe	karl
Popper	The claim that we would stay together has been falsified.	Alejandro
Popper, Karl	This can only work if you can prove that it might not.	M. Turyn
Positivist	I can’t be wrong about this.	Simon Keller
Post-Modernist	I don’t even know who you really are.	Eitan Kozak
Pragmatist v1	This just isn’t working anymore.	Shieva
Pragmatist v2	You’re ugly.	Ralph Finley
Presentist	There just isn’t any future for us.	Brendan Jackson
Prichard, H. A.	Our relationship rested on a mistake.	Rich Doan
Procrasonater	I’ve been meaning to get around to breaking up with you for a long while now much longer than before the “L” word showed up.	rachel
Projectivist v1	It’s all in your head!	Stephan Blatti
Projectivist v2	You’re not lovable anymore.	djc
Prototype Theorist	You don’t have the qualities I’m looking for.	JW
Putnam	It’s over…. I want you back…. Its over.	AW
Pythagorean	I am a lover of wisdom, but not of you.	Seth Schoen
Quasi-Realist	Of course we’re going to be together forever…	Paul Kelleher
Quietist	I don’t need a reason.	Simon Keller
Quinean v1	I’m sorry, but you don’t mean anything to me anymore.	Jacob Miller
Quinean v2	To you it might have appeared that we were really together, but our relationship was just a bunch of undetached dating parts.	karl
Quinean v3	I’ve got a guy. But hurting you was never my intension.	Rich Doan
Quinean v4	You’re too dogmatic.	Rich Doan
Rama, Zen Master	You haven’t kept up the payments, go into outer darkness.	M. Turyn
Randians, Ayn v1	I just want to be alone.	Steven Shapiro
Randians, Ayn v2	I’m a lesbian douche-bag.	Eitan Kozak
Rationalist v1	I’m not a priority to you anymore.	Paul Kelleher
Rationalist v2	I’ve been doing some thinking…	Paul Audi
Rationalist v3	If you can’t see your faults, there’s nothing more I can say.	Paul Kelleher
Rawlsian v1	I can’t give any more of myself to you until I’ve given some to all of the others who need me more than you do.	Amy
Rawlsian v2	I’d like to go back to my original position: single.	Amy
Reductionist	We lost the chemistry.	Paul Audi
Relationalist	When we really get down to it, our relationship lacks substance.	William
Relativist	It’s no one’s fault.	Paul Kelleher
Reliabilist	This just isn’t working anymore.	Paul Audi
Retributivist	This is what you get for being rude to my friends.	Paul Audi
Rorty, R.	I could’ve only loved you as much as my colleagues would let me get away with…	Jay Martin
Russellian v01	This just doesn’t make sense.	JW
Russellian v02	‘The relationship’ is meaningless.	Shieva
Russellian v03	I know that you have been seeing an arbitrary/ambiguous man.	Angel
Russellian v04	You gotta understand; things look different from where I am.	Irem
Russellian v05	It is always true that it is false that there is an x such that x is our Relationship.	Moises
Russellian v06	The love you think exists between us is a part of your brain.	Moises
Russellian v07	The atomic fact is that I don’t love you.	Moises
Russellian v08	I judge that “r-Lx” … Russell does not love x, where x is you.	Moises
Russellian v09	You kill every creative impulse in me, with you I only have possessive impulses.	Moises
Russellian v10	Our relationship was a logical fiction, I will therefore substitute the inferred entity for a logical construction, meaning we should see other people.	Moises
Russellian v11	So you support the Bolsheviks eh!!	Moises
Russellian v12	Our feelings for each other are of different types, our being together is most certainly bad syntax.	Moises
Russellian v13	You don’t even have a tiny bundle of good qualities.	Moises
Russellian v14	I only know that you have terrible dispositions but I always have to infer what is your intrinsic nature, I’m done with that!!	Moises
Russellian v15	The class of all those people who do not belong with themselves, belongs to itself ? Bah !! You and I are such a paradox.	Moises
Russellian v16	I met a man. We got acquainted.	Rich Doan
Russellian v17	I’m acquainted with this and that.	Rich Doan
Ryle (when ditched)	You’re making a big mistake…	cp
Sartre v1	Hell is other people—you, for instance.	paul
Sartre v2	Pierre, it’s as if you’re just not here.	Melissa Haferkamp
Sartre v3	Let’s be honest. From day one our relationship has been based entirely on objectifying one another.	Cara
Satisficer	You just ain’t good enough.	pekka
Schrodinger	When I realized what were exactly my feelings for you, they collapsed.	Alejandro
Searle	If you think that I love you, you don’t need an argument you need help.	Jay Martin
Sellarsian	Everything looks ok when we’re inside together, but when we go out, I feel blue & you look green.	JW
Semicompatibilist	We weren’t completely compatible, and I only sort-of loved you anyway. But don’t worry: nothing we really care about will be lost…	John Fischer
Sheldrake	You never think of anyone but me… me…	myles byrne
Sierpinski	There are infinitely many holes in our relationship.	Jason Mansfield
Simpleton	Bye.	Mellow
Skeptic v1	I’m just not sure this is working for me.	matt strohl
Skeptic v2	I just don’t know you anymore.	AW
Smith, Joseph	Wasn’t that you I told to leave?	M. Turyn
Smithian, Adam	I’d rather use my “invisible hand” than sleep with you.	Steven Shapiro
Socialist	I just can’t give you what you need.	Paul Audi
Socratic v1	What do you mean by “I”? What do you mean by “Love”? What do you mean by “You”?	matt strohl
Socratic v2	You already know what’s wrong; I shouldn’t have to tell you.	Cerulean
Socratic v3	You’re too old.	Rich Doan
Solipsist	It’s not you, it’s me.	Paul Kelleher
Speech-Act Theorist v1	I’m telling you it’s not working.	NW
Speech-Act Theorist v2	I hereby break up with you.	Steve
St Augustine	Sorry your will has too many deficiencies.	Josh Berkstresser
Stage View Perdurantist	At this stage, I don’t love you.	Irem
Stich	The survey results are in, what we had wasn’t love after all.	AW
Stoic	If you can’t get used to your status as a preferred indifferent, we’re going to have to call the whole thing off.	matt strohl
Straussian v1	I’m not breaking up with you. Gentleman 29 bandicoot.	Simon Keller
Straussian v2	I know you’ve said a million times that you love me, but I can just tell you don’t mean it.	tb
Strong-AI-ist	I’m just not ready yet. But call me later this century sometime.	Jeff Medina
Structuralist Logician	You and I do not satisfy what it is to be in a “going out” relationship.	karl
Substantivalist	Something’s come between us.	Simon Keller
Sufist	I just need something more real.	raul arturo mendoza rodriguez de santiago
Supervaluationist	I’ve had it with you! This is where I draw the line. But with you, I know it won’t matter.	Angel
Surrealist	How many fish does it take to change a light bulb?	Jason Mansfield
Tarskian v1	You can’t satisfy what “I need __”.	Angel
Tarskian v2	Since we stopped being intimate, I have been trying to satisfy my own needs. But you know, this is absurd.	Angel
Teleologist	We aren’t meant for each other.	Paul Kelleher
Thales	We’re just treading water.	Rich Doan
The Lubovitcher Rebbe	I love Tanya more than you.	M. Turyn
Thomist	It would seem that our relationship will continue eternally. 1. Our relationship has continued unchanging up to this point; and what continues unchanging is eternal. Thus, our relationship is eternal. 2. Our relationship has been one of love, and as the Evangelist sayith, “God is Love.” Because relationships of equality are transitive, Love is God, and Love is therefore eternal. 3. Our relationship is good, and the good abides. On the contrary, I say that nothing but God is eternal. Scripture sayith that Man is the creature of but a day, doomed to die, and when you or I die, the relationship will clearly end. Therefore our relationship is not eternal. 1. Our relationship had a beginning; therefore it is not eternal and will have an end. 2. To say “God is love” is not an expression of equality but an attribution of a property to a subject. Thus, as to say “the dog is white” does not mean that all white things are dogs, so too love is not necessarily God, and need not be eternal. 3. Our relationship has been good, but now it stinks. Get outta here.	sturgeonslawyer
Trope Theorist	The love we feel for each other just isn’t the same.	Shieva
Twin Earth	It seemed like love, but it never really was. Let’s call it what it really is and move on.	Jeff Medina
Tzu, Hsun	I just don't like your evil side.	John Lee
Tzu, Lao	It’s just not the way…	John Lee
Unger, Peter v1	I don’t know what we can do to save this relationship.	Kris McDaniel
Unger, Peter v2	You make me feel like I don’t exist.	Kris McDaniel
Unger, Peter v3	Our relationship has many problems.	Kris McDaniel
Unger, Peter v4	Of course it is over! You sold everything I own and then gave all of the money away!	Kris McDaniel
Unger, Peter v5	It’s not you, but it’s not me either.	Jay Martin
Utilitarian v1	This will make us both happier in the end.	UL
Utilitarian v2	This’ll be the best for everybody.	Sunil
Van Cleve	I left because you aren’t right for me.	Brian
Van Fraassen, Bas	(a bit thrilling) I think I’ll build a tower tall enough for its shadow to cover at 5 o’ clock the place on the terrace where I first declared love to you	Istvan Aranyosi
Virtue Theorist	I’m being cruel, but only to be kind.	Simon Keller
Weatherson v1	My love for you is true, but not as true as it used to be…	Jeff Medina
Weatherson v2	I’m sick of your games, so I’m making a decision to get rid of them completely.	Jeff Medina
Weatherson v3	See, there’s this envelope with a regular probability distribution over the levels of love from 0 (none) to 1 (perfect) that I might have with someone else, and then there’s us… it just wouldn’t be rational for me to stay with you.	Jeff Medina
Weatherson v4	Look at this photo—you cheated on me without my knowledge! (Except that it is actually a pix of BW and his object of direct address in, shall we say, corpus seducto that he does not recognize because his head is buried in his hands (ala his home page) and he was drunk at the time and does not recall the incident at all.)	V. Alan White
Whitehead	The history of our relationship has consisted of nothing but a series of love notes from Plato.	V. Alan White
Wittgensteinian v01	I’m just not happy with this form of life…	Matt Weiner
Wittgensteinian v02	Don’t expect an answer.	Simon Keller
Wittgensteinian v03	I think you need therapy.	Will Davies
Wittgensteinian v04	The door is open, baby. Hit the road.	Kris McDaniel
Wittgensteinian v05	There’s really nothing more I can say…	cp
Wittgensteinian v06	Baby, don’t ask why- whereof we cannot speak, thereof we must be silent.	F
Wittgensteinian v07	I can’t find any use for our relationship, it has become meaningless to me.	Moises
Wittgensteinian v08	Shhh!!!!	Moises
Wittgensteinian v09	I cannot see how to go on.	Brad Weslake
Wittgensteinian v10	My goal is to be let out of this constricting relationship.	Steven Shapiro
Wittgensteinian v11	Our relationship must be thrown away after living through it.	Alejandro
Wittgensteinian v12	Let’s stop playing these games. Don’t say anything, it just makes things worse.	Neil K
Wittgensteinian v13	You play games. And you’re early work stinks.	Rich Doan
Yahooer	I will be removing you from my friends list.	Mellow
Yandell, K.	Well, I do love you in W* but W* is far removed from the actual world.	Jay Martin
Zen Koanist	Tell me where the darkness goes at daybreak. That’s where this relationship is going.	Jason Mansfield
Zeno v1	I can’t get across to you.	djc
Zeno v2	This isn’t going anywhere	ac
Zeno v3	No matter how close I try to get to you, you always seem so distant.	Jeff Medina
Zuboff, Arnold	There is only one of us.	Istvan Aranyosi