slipstreaming my anachronistic surreal consciousness - sharing with you my multiple epiphanies that were spawned while sitting on my porcelain throne (these are the ones I didn't flush) "don't believe everything you think…"
Saturday, September 27, 2003
wheat germ
I'm convinced it's food that came from Hell! And it's one of the foods they serve to torture souls!
My dad came back with at least 36 jars of that crap from one of his trips to the U.S.! He usually comes back with chocolate candies. But someone or something (perhaps the Devil himself) convinced him that wheat germ was the best thing you can feed your kids.
If you hate your kids, this is the food to feed them! It is one of the grossest things I've ever had! It was almost bland with the texture of quicksand. No matter how much milk or water or sugar we added, the thickness & flavor stayed the same; the only thing that happened is that it grew bigger!
My dad offered some to his oldest sister. My cousins were more fortunate. Because when their mom found out that they also hated it, she tried it and found it so disgusting that she got rid of all the wheat germ and told her kids that they didn't have to eat it.
My dad forced us to eat it. He had our evil sadistic nanny make sure that we finish 1 bowl for breakfast. This is when I didn't care, if I was going to Hell because it already felt like I was in it. I learned to throw away food (at a very young age) without caring about how many children were starving elsewhere. For all I cared, they could have ALL of my wheat germ.
The trick was learning to throw your food away without any evidence. So whenever our bitchy nanny stepped out, I went straight to the sink and dumped it in.
My youngest brother wasn't so lucky, he tried hiding his wheat germ in the cabinets (really now, talk about leaving evidence). Well my brother was very young and he was still learning how to sin properly. He got caught after they discovered several bowls in different cabinets. My father got so mad at him. And our bitch queen nanny tied him up to his chair for breakfast. I felt sorry for my youngest brother. It wasn't right to tie him up in his chair. Since we had a code of silence, whenever the nanny from Hell would leave, I would help my younger brother by dumping almost everything for him but I would leave him with just enough for 1 spoonful so that he can show our tyrannical nanny that he'd finished his bowl.
My dad came back with at least 36 jars of that crap from one of his trips to the U.S.! He usually comes back with chocolate candies. But someone or something (perhaps the Devil himself) convinced him that wheat germ was the best thing you can feed your kids.
If you hate your kids, this is the food to feed them! It is one of the grossest things I've ever had! It was almost bland with the texture of quicksand. No matter how much milk or water or sugar we added, the thickness & flavor stayed the same; the only thing that happened is that it grew bigger!
My dad offered some to his oldest sister. My cousins were more fortunate. Because when their mom found out that they also hated it, she tried it and found it so disgusting that she got rid of all the wheat germ and told her kids that they didn't have to eat it.
My dad forced us to eat it. He had our evil sadistic nanny make sure that we finish 1 bowl for breakfast. This is when I didn't care, if I was going to Hell because it already felt like I was in it. I learned to throw away food (at a very young age) without caring about how many children were starving elsewhere. For all I cared, they could have ALL of my wheat germ.
The trick was learning to throw your food away without any evidence. So whenever our bitchy nanny stepped out, I went straight to the sink and dumped it in.
My youngest brother wasn't so lucky, he tried hiding his wheat germ in the cabinets (really now, talk about leaving evidence). Well my brother was very young and he was still learning how to sin properly. He got caught after they discovered several bowls in different cabinets. My father got so mad at him. And our bitch queen nanny tied him up to his chair for breakfast. I felt sorry for my youngest brother. It wasn't right to tie him up in his chair. Since we had a code of silence, whenever the nanny from Hell would leave, I would help my younger brother by dumping almost everything for him but I would leave him with just enough for 1 spoonful so that he can show our tyrannical nanny that he'd finished his bowl.
