slipstreaming my anachronistic surreal consciousness - sharing with you my multiple epiphanies that were spawned while sitting on my porcelain throne (these are the ones I didn't flush) "don't believe everything you think…"
Saturday, September 06, 2003
my 1st car accident
How can one forget their 1st mental scar?
I remember mine vividly.
However, I know, my sister will contest my version.
Nonetheless, I shall tell you my version...
We (my older sister, 2 cousins, & 2 nannies) were in one of those huge Datsuns (back when the Japanese used to make huge cars). {I think I was 6 yrs. old, my sister was 7, & my cousins were 8 & 6 (my birth-date twin cousin, we were only 15 min. apart).} Our dumb-ass chauffeur needed to make a quick stop at the office and decided to park the car without using the brakes or turning the wheel towards the curve. He just left with the car on neutral. Naturally, reality declared that it was illegal for our car to stay stationary at gradual slope and enforced both laws of gravity & physics. Our car had no choice but to abide to them and move.
As it started to move, our nanny in the front passenger seat jumped out of the car. My sister {who was the leader of the cousins in our mothers' matriarch clan (our moms' had no brothers, they are 5 sisters) and also the favorite of our Supreme Matriarch (our widowed grandmother)} decided to grab the steering wheel, from the backseat, to take control of the car.
What followed next was a quick short argument between her (S) & myself (M):
M: "Step on the brakes!"
S: "No! I need to take control of the car!"
M: "Step on the brakes and the car will stop!"
S: "No! I can't let go of the steering wheel or we'll lose control!"
So, I decided to try to reach for the brakes.
My sister, with her Amazon strength, flung me back to the backseat.
S: "You're going to make me lose control!"
M: "How are we going to stop the car?!?"
S: "I'll steer the car to the wall!"
M: "If we step on the brakes, the car will stop!"
S: "Shut-up! I need to concentrate!"
I then thought to myself, if we die and go to Heaven I'm going to tell on her to God (this was obviously during my Catholic years). And, God's going to yell at her, "You should've stepped on the brakes, like your brother told you to!"
Our remaining nanny bailed on us, as the car gained speed downward! Our parents misguidedly trusted our lives with these self-preserving nannies! The English translation of what she might've been thinking of, before she bailed on us was, "Fuck this shit! They're not paying me enough to die with them!"
I thought to myself, "My wrath on these insolent servants, if we survive! None of them will get away with this! I'm going to tell on all of them! How dare they leave us alone to die?!?! Don't they know, that our lives are more important than theirs?" After all, we were the heirs to our Supreme Matriarch's Lost Dynasty.
My sister was successful at stopping the car by slamming it to the wall! We all survived! But, vengeance was mine! The 3 idiots were fired.
I remember mine vividly.
However, I know, my sister will contest my version.
Nonetheless, I shall tell you my version...
We (my older sister, 2 cousins, & 2 nannies) were in one of those huge Datsuns (back when the Japanese used to make huge cars). {I think I was 6 yrs. old, my sister was 7, & my cousins were 8 & 6 (my birth-date twin cousin, we were only 15 min. apart).} Our dumb-ass chauffeur needed to make a quick stop at the office and decided to park the car without using the brakes or turning the wheel towards the curve. He just left with the car on neutral. Naturally, reality declared that it was illegal for our car to stay stationary at gradual slope and enforced both laws of gravity & physics. Our car had no choice but to abide to them and move.
As it started to move, our nanny in the front passenger seat jumped out of the car. My sister {who was the leader of the cousins in our mothers' matriarch clan (our moms' had no brothers, they are 5 sisters) and also the favorite of our Supreme Matriarch (our widowed grandmother)} decided to grab the steering wheel, from the backseat, to take control of the car.
What followed next was a quick short argument between her (S) & myself (M):
M: "Step on the brakes!"
S: "No! I need to take control of the car!"
M: "Step on the brakes and the car will stop!"
S: "No! I can't let go of the steering wheel or we'll lose control!"
So, I decided to try to reach for the brakes.
My sister, with her Amazon strength, flung me back to the backseat.
S: "You're going to make me lose control!"
M: "How are we going to stop the car?!?"
S: "I'll steer the car to the wall!"
M: "If we step on the brakes, the car will stop!"
S: "Shut-up! I need to concentrate!"
I then thought to myself, if we die and go to Heaven I'm going to tell on her to God (this was obviously during my Catholic years). And, God's going to yell at her, "You should've stepped on the brakes, like your brother told you to!"
Our remaining nanny bailed on us, as the car gained speed downward! Our parents misguidedly trusted our lives with these self-preserving nannies! The English translation of what she might've been thinking of, before she bailed on us was, "Fuck this shit! They're not paying me enough to die with them!"
I thought to myself, "My wrath on these insolent servants, if we survive! None of them will get away with this! I'm going to tell on all of them! How dare they leave us alone to die?!?! Don't they know, that our lives are more important than theirs?" After all, we were the heirs to our Supreme Matriarch's Lost Dynasty.
My sister was successful at stopping the car by slamming it to the wall! We all survived! But, vengeance was mine! The 3 idiots were fired.
